Who knew gonorrhea could be so darn cute?

(Credit: Giant Microbes)

1. Guitar Hero World Tour/Rock Band 2 (full band set). This is fairly self-explanatory. Sometimes sitting around playing a video game is just too sedentary. These games will have me rocking out with my stocking out not just on the fake guitar, but on fake drums, too.

The pretty extensive track list will keep me going for a while, and then there's all the downloadable content after I've finished. While I doubt they'll ever offer certain songs in my personal music collection ("The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" as performed by Leonard Nimoy), there are enough songs I like to make it worthwhile. Plus, everyone looks cool playing it, right?

2. Plush gonorrhea. Enough people get The Clapper for Christmas; why not get The Clap instead? The plush version. There are actually a menagerie of plush microbes you can get, but how often can you tell people you were happy to get gonorrhea for Christmas? Sober, anyway.

3. Digital Diamond game by Tomy. My uncle had this handheld electronic game back in the day, and I played it as often as I could sneak it away from him. It's primitive, loud, and kinda cheesy, but I've already written about my weakness for old-school electronic toys.

It's only electric in that it lights up; the main gameplay is mechanical, hence the noise. I was, believe it or not, not a great sportsman as a kid, but I had a lot of fun playing baseball with this toy.

No word if this comes with a case of Turtle Wax or a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat.

I have yet to meet a person who enjoys being woken up by an alarm clock. I know I don't. However, that was before ...

Take over the world, one step at a time.

Black sneakers are pretty stylish all on their own. It's hard to improve upon basic black.

But if you could, this would be one way to do it: trick them out with hand-painted Daleks from Doctor Who...